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PUPSTERMINATE!!!

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After being “rescued” from the clown wizard’s dungeon by the mysterious Doctor Who, I have found myself whisked off across the galaxy inside what appears to be an extremely technologically sophisticated phone booth.  I am not sure what exactly the Doctor’s purpose is in keeping me aboard his ship; as far as I can see, his interstellar wanderings are even more aimless than mine were when I was first taken aboard an alien spacecraft nearly one year ago.  But I cannot convince him to return me to the university, and so I must make the best of an extremely odd situation.

At least the Doctor has finally named a destination, now that he has repaired the Rassilon Imprimature, whatever that is. I have never heard of the Planet Petco, but to hear the Doctor tell it, it is a wonderland of squeak toys, rawhide, and rubber chews. I suppose there are worse places we could go.

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At the Doctor’s request, I go off in search of the Companions’ Closet. The interior of this police box or, as the Doctor calls it, the TARDIS, is mind-bogglingly vast, and I spend a good deal of time trying to find the racquetball court. When I finally locate it and return to the control room, I find that the Doctor has undergone yet another metamorphosis.

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After yet another baffling conversation, the Doctor announces that we have materialized at our destination, the distant Planet Petco. Evidently our mission here is to return an alien artifact to the ruler of this land.

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The Doctor seems to feel that he is regarded as a hero on this world, and apparently, he is correct; I can dimly make out noises from outside the TARDIS. It sounds as if a large crowd is cheering our arrival. The inhabitants of Planet Petco must be rejoicing at the return of the Doctor and the Rawhide Chew of Power.

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Well, a hero’s welcome is nothing new for me, so I do not begrudge the Doctor his moment of adulation. Perhaps, as his companion, I will be able to prevail upon the locals to use their own technology to send me home. Because I am Dennis the Vizsla, and I never give up.

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